


More Trick than Treat

by pennysparrow



Series: Halloween Content War 2017 [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Green Arrow (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Super Sons (Comics), Teen Titans (Comics), The Flash (Comics), Titans (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Halloween Content War, Trick or Treating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-23 03:55:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12498192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pennysparrow/pseuds/pennysparrow
Summary: Dick is taking Damian trick-or-treating and decides to invite some of his friends and their kids along, which may not have been his best idea.





	More Trick than Treat

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 2 of the Batfam Halloween Content War: Celebration because to me trick-or-treat is the ultimate celebration of Halloween. And Lian ends up celebrating a little too.

Dick was beginning to seriously regret his life choices. Not the whole hero thing, never that, but rather his choice in friends. And more specifically inviting some of said friends and their kids to go trick-or-treating with him and Damian at the mansions in Gotham’s Bristol neighborhood. When Alfred had discovered that he’d invited Roy and Lian and Wally and the twins to come trick-or-treating the butler had insisted on talking Clark and Lois (mostly Lois) into letting Jon tag along. Dick didn’t mind the kids, if he was being honest he was excited to be going trick-or-treating with them and had even dressed up for it. Wally and Roy were the problem.

“Seriously? What are you even supposed to be?” Wally laughed at Dick’s costume.

He looked down at himself, Dick thought that the impression he was doing of Hal was pretty spot on. Bruce laughed at it. Even Alfred cracked a smile when he saw the Green Lantern shirt, bomber jacket, and aviators. “What’s wrong with it?” He asked with a frown.

“You look like a Top Gun reject, man,” Roy informed him.

Dick glared at him until he couldn’t help but laugh. He was almost doubled over as he tried to tell them, “I’m supposed to be Hal.”

Wally and Roy both lost it at that. “So I was right! A Top Gun reject!” Roy managed to say when he caught his breath, forcing the three of them into another round of cackling.

“What’s so funny?” Lian asked as she skipped down the steps. She had used Cass’s room to put on her Pink Power Ranger costume.

“Your Uncle Dick’s costume is, Squeaker,” Roy told her, handing over a plastic pumpkin for her candy.

“He’s obviously Uncle Hal. What’s more ridiculous is yours! You’re old! And you’re being Archie Andrews for Halloween! That’s just ridiculous Daddy.” Lian crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, her mask still perched on the top of her head.

Dick tried not to laugh, covering his growing smile with his fist. Wally couldn’t cover as well and ended up snorting at Lian’s sass and the look of offense on Roy’s face.

“You’re not one to talk Dad!” Irey called down from where she stood above them on the second-floor landing, looking right at home in the huge old house with her Ghostbuster jumpsuit, pack, and goggles. Dick was pretty sure those were her Impulse goggles but who was going to notice that in Gotham. “I mean Hercules? Really?”

“It’s a classic!” Wally yelled back at his daughter. Dick could feel his shoulders shaking as he tried not to laugh.

Irey wrinkled her nose and leaned over the railing. “You’re pretty much wearing a dress.”

“It’s a toga! I have shorts on!” Wally cried, arms flailing and nearly taking out one of Alfred’s favorite vases.

“God I hope so,” Roy said, looking at the other redhead with wide eyes.

Wally glared at Roy before turning to Dick and pouting. He just held his hands up in a placating gesture to his friend. “Look man, karma.”

“Well if the point of this holiday is to wear the most ridiculous attire possible then I feel that I am certainly in the lead with West here and Kent tying for second,” Damian grumbled, appearing at Dick’s elbow.

“Aw, c’mon Lil D! Woody is a classic costume! And with Jon being Buzz you two look great. You’ll get all the candy,” Dick tried to assure him. However, it only earned a nose wrinkle and trademark -tt- from Damian.

“He’s right y’know,” Irey called down. She turned to yell back down the hallway. “Jai! Would you hurry up! This jumpsuit is getting hot and everyone else is ready!”

“I’m comin’! Jeez!” Jai said before appearing next to his sister. “See? I’m Captain America and I can block out the haters with my shield.” Jai proceeded to hold up said shield and use it to keep Irey from his view the entire time he walked down the stairs.

“Wooooow. Want some ice for that burn?” Lian giggled, staring at her friend who was still standing slack-jawed on the landing.

“I feel like I’m missing something?” Jon asked as he was lead into the foyer by Alfred.

Damian gave a smirk to his friend. “That would be a brain, Kent. Maybe you should have dressed as the Scarecrow from Oz?”

“And we’re done with the insults!” Dick called, grabbing Damian by the back of the vest and patting Jon on the head. Well, top of his helmet. “You kids want candy, I want to not be endangering secret identities when things get out of hand so from now on if you have nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”

“So that means Daddy can’t talk,” Lian said dryly, pulling her mask over her face.

There was shocked silence from the assembled heroes. Alfred cleared his throat before speaking. “If I may say so myself, sick burn Miss Harper.”

Dick sputtered at Alfred, blinking rapidly as his brain tried to process the butler’s words. Damian was moving his mouth but no words came out as he looked between Dick and Alfred. Jon had to cover his mouth with his glove-clad hands, but even that didn’t prevent the occasional giggle from escaping. Wally and the twins all had identical expressions of glee. Lian’s face couldn’t be seen but Dick just knew from her posture that she had a smug smirk as Roy appeared to be frozen with a wide-mouthed expression. For his part, Alfred looked completely indifferent from before; the only difference was the look of polite befuddlement he wore as a mask of innocence.

Lian skipped over to Alfred, holding up a hand. Alfred responded by lightly smacking it in a high-five, prompting Lian to begin jumping up and down. She singsonged as she ran around the foyer saying, “I won! I won! Best burn of Halloween goes to meee!”

As she passed in front of him Roy managed to move again and placed a restraining hand on her head. “And that’s enough. Out. Go. Get candy to celebrate. Just don’t talk to me anymore. You’re officially Uncle Dick’s problem now.”

Dick smiled and held out his hand to Lian. “C’mon kiddo. You and the twins roasting your dads is something I needed after dealing with them my whole life. I’m more than happy to sugar you all up and send you back home if they’re gonna stay here and pout.” With that he led the small group of kids out the door and into the night. Roy and Wally yelling behind him.


End file.
